allmyfancy | How doth the little crocodile;

[This is not 'home'. There was never a 'home'. Really, the closest thing to a 'home' is that suffocating classroom, doors and windows leading to nowhere and a single girl within.

But the only reaction the entire area gets is a single blink. Inhale, exhale. Then scratching at the back of his head while his eyes stare out at nothing. Or something only he sees.]

「HEY, HEY. I MAY HATE HER, BUT AJIMU-CHAN'S THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO KIDNAP ME WITH NO PRIOR WARNING. PUT ME BACK NO~W! I'M BO~RED!」

[She is lucky he's receded enough to be speaking human tongues again, but the words have no intonation and a mindfuck as an undercurrent. Worst dreamer to pick up there, miss.]

[It takes physical form here, black and smokey and absolutely disgusting, twisting into a hideous, horrifying monster--

which she just beheaded. Snicker-snack, bitches.]

I didn't kidnap anyone. You're a rude wanderer, aren't you? Well, that's no matter. [Instead of her jumping down, the mushroom bends and twists until she's right side-up on ground level.]

How did you get in here, though?

[The beheading earns the faintest of winces, but right after means his expression dies even further. And that smokey and disgusting monster doesn't die. It even regrows into a stronger presence, with the edges of its darkness eroding through what it touches like acid. It is nightmarish and gross and edges on the border of Eldritch abomination. It can't be seen without falling into madness.

But the idiot teenager it comes from just stares, entirely blank, with no reaction to her weird mushroom-warping antics. And still responding with a voice that sounds like those invisible brackets alone restrain the monster.]

「I WAS IN MY HELL. BUT BECAUSE I CAN'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW, AND SHE WOULD NEVER LET ME LEAVE RIGHT NOW, THAT ONLY LEAVES YOU.」

[The good news is, we're all mad here.

Phantasmal teeth appear, always grinning, even as they eat the aura.]

Oh, stop that. [She waves a hand, and it seems, surprisingly enough, that his Minus...isn't touching her.]

I can't really pull people here...I suppose if your body is close enough you might have gotten swept up on accident.

[The teeth can gnaw at whatever they please, but it never goes away. It rejuvenates faster and faster each time, and it gets more and more abomination-y. Countless eyes, countless limbs, staring into the face of madness, etc.]

「Sͨ̔̄͋҉̣̥̺̳T͗̑ͯ̈̆͏͓O̮̼͉̜̮͔̟ͯP̮͉̳̯͙̅͂̚ ̞̱̟̟̺̦͉ͩ͡W̧̄̄ͥH̃̍͑ͭ̏̓A̼͔͈̙̐͆̿͋̋̇͆T̲̂̉?̺̩̝͇̰͕̗̓̓ͨ͋͋̇͗̀」 [Possibly genuine, but it's hard to say with the warping. Which means there's a beat before he tries again.] 「Ą̵̨́̀̈́̊̎ͭ͌͊ͭͯͪ̏͏̗̪̮̮̩̦̲̼̳͚̙ͅN̵̛͚̫̟̻̱̣̞͚̯̣͍͐͊̍ͩ̑͋ͯͅḊ̛̛͒͊͌̈́͊ͫ̏̈́͌͌͂ͤ̑̚̕͟҉̲̦͈̩͍̹̰͚̻̟͍̜̳̫̫͔͕͙ ̛͕̘̫̼̤̠̐̊ͣͥ͒̅̇̊ͨ̉͛̆̕͡͠Ş̛̼̺̼̲̖́̊͒̏͌̈̆͆ͬ̎T̛̛̘̹̺͉̞̞̙̥̭̓ͥ̌̀̐ͪͬ̄ͬͫ͐ͥ́͟͟O̭̹͇̮͙̦͈͛͗̓ͩͣ͊̒̔ͬ̕͝P̘̝̘̭̘͕͙̙͙̞̩̖̹̘̹͒̆͋̎ͨ̊̑͞ͅͅ ̴͙̪̭̹̝̯̲̹̩̮̖̬̠̬̏̓ͫ͋̋͌̇ͩ̌̅͛͝Ţ̸̖̹̖̊͊ͤ͊ͩ̈́̾̐ͫ̑ͧ̅ͮ́̿̍̎͞͞Ŗ̵̖̤̳͎̻̓̓̎̿ͪ̿͋͜͠Y̨̛͇̳͔̹̤͓̙͓ͤ͋̌̐̂̄̇͗̀͠ͅͅĪ̴̛͎̟̱̘̝̟̯̞̲̗̝̙͍̗̼͚́̈̽̔ͥ̇͑̊̎̈͌̚͘N͕̻͎̗̤̙̱̝̭̦̗̣̯͚̦̦̼ͤ̃̅̑ͣͮ̒͜͞G̖͍͇̺̯̼̻͙̞ͩͨͥ͌̈́̀ͩͦͪͤ̌̈́͜ͅ ̨͇͓̣͍̺͓̝̦̬̩ͯ͌͗͑̉̐̎̀ͣ͌̒̍̐̍̂ͤͭ͝T̍ͥ̑̓̕҉̧̖̜̞͇̣̩̰͎̘͓͢Ơ̢̢̦̺̤͉̼̫̻̝̫̻̙ͭ̎̌̉͌ͬͩ̄͆̑̓ͦͮ̾ͭ͒ͦ̆̚͝͞ͅ ̡̠̼̟̲͉̟͚̱̲̹̱ͦ̅ͩͬͧ͆ͭ̌ͬͦͮͥ͊̎̍͛ͨ̀́͘Ē̶̮̖̙͔̭͉̼̬͍͗͒̏̊ͪ͂͊̏̀͜R̛̳̩̙̬͛ͣ̄̾͌A̧̨͍͉̰͓͒̿̍̔ͦ͊̉̽̏̍ͬ̐̒Ş̘͙̫͈̱̹̘̭͕͖̱̹̘͎͓̣̻̈́̑̈́̽ͧ̃̈́ͥ̏ͫ́̓ͪ̕͢E̴̴͑̅̒̎̅ͭ̒̏ͨ̃̅ͩ̍͜͏̲̫̱̹ ̡̗̥̥̺̝͇̫̠͉̯̫̘͎̲̮̬͉͎̋͂̎̽͗͑͌ͩ̀̀͘ͅM̵̢̳͚͉̩̥͈̼̟͐͌ͣ̒ͥ̂͒̓́̈́̎͒̋ͯ͌ͩ̚ͅͅͅE̴̡͇̥̙͓̭̘͎̻̘̪̮̼̩͙̤̰͉͐̅͐̅ͫͤ̒̐̊̑̓͗ͭ̏ͤ̊ͧ͞.̸̨̢̞̪͕̟͎̙̰̠̣̝̣͇͚̞͉͆ͯ͒̈́̊͌̂ͫ̐ͦ̊̈́̏ͭͪ̓͊̔̚͠ ̴̴̶̘̜͇͙͕͙̠͔̹̬̫̲͍̬̦̓ͣͩ̎͂ͮͯ̅̇̏ͨ́ͤ͆̌̅͊Y̱͉̣̰̓͐̑̾̏̿̄͋̽ͦͫ͒̇ͫ̚̚͘͟͝ͅƠ̛̛͚̥̼̮̱̮̳͐͑̅ͯ́̉̈̒ͦͭ͊ͭ̃͌̿ͅŨ̷͎̼̱̹̖̻̠̱̣̠̗͈̺͚͍̝͌͒̊̽̌͆̐̿̏̐̾̾̐̈́͗͛ͫ͟͝'̸̧̢̭̗̲̠̟̦̞̜͎͇͔̽ͦ͑ͬ̑̉ͣͦ̈̾̔ͯͦ̏ͥͤ͑̐͝R̢͍̳̝͓̣͔̙̤̤̤̲̙̺͚͎̫͙͓̄̽̄ͫ͌͛̽̀Ḛ̡͈͍̘ͮ̏ͫ͗͆ͧͣ̎͆ͤ̑̆̇̾̍̉͊̽̀̀͞ ͩ̀̄̀̌̓͛ͯ̏͏̷҉͕̭͉̘͍̙̮̜N̞̣̟̮̘͇͎͉͔̹͕̣̮̜̝̙̤͛̅̿̓ͩ̓̓̽̍̿̒͞Ȍ̧̹̟̬͖̪͇̱̣̎̂̔̅͗ͨ̂́T̯̩͎̫̺̳̖̤͔͈̮̣̥͚̓͂̈́̽̆̈́̋̂͒̄͌̅̇̂͂͐̎̔͜͠͝͝ͅ ̵͚̳̱̩̠̘̖̟̰͍̪͐̒̓̉͗̒ͪͯ̉ͥ͗̀̚̚͢H͋̇̊̉ͬ͛̂ͤ̌̑̌͗̐̋͌͋̚҉̰̱̖̮̮̤̮̯̱̣È̃̏̔̈́ͯ̊̐̀͊̾ͨ̇ͬ҉̭̤̖̟̱̘͉̮̰̫͉L̨͍̞͇̦͍̍̎ͣ̃̍ͫ͒̇̔ͬ̈̃ͮ̽̍͜͢P̴ͨ͑̊ͬͫͩ̔͊ͭ̄̔ͤ̓̚҉̨̝̝͎̰I̵̧̥̥̰͙͔̤̫͙̱̺̿͂ͯ̿̇̒͐ͥ̓́͊̾ͦͬ͜͝Ņ̖̫̱͎͎̻̟͚̗̟͔͈̝̯̰̘ͨ͐͋ͤ̔ͦ̄ͯ̅ͪ̍̕͠G̡̩̙̙̯̖̙͔̮̻̥͚͖͈̙͙̯͙̀ͧ̍ͯ̑̇̃͗ͫ̌͗̇̅ͨ̽ͭ̂̚̚̕.̷̶͛̅ͤ̅́̐ͫͯ̿̄͋͛̈̉҉͙̖͕̜͇͚」

[Inhale, exhale, trying again. The warping's a bit quieter now.] 「Į͕̫̯͊ͩ̓ͥ̔ͩ̚Ṫ̛̠̘̗͚̼̟͙͂ͥ͗ͩ́͗͗͜͝ ̰͈͈̂̋͑M̡̧͎͎̖̙̘̱̫͗̍Î̧̛͈̺̪̤̺̯̺̲̓̄̔ͣ̋G̨̩̾͋͋͗ͬ̔̐ͯ͒͟͠H̷̰̗̹̝͈̬̺̱̑͟T̟̘̙̭̱́̐̈́͗̎̋̋̈́̾ͅ'̮̼̘̩͕̯͔̮̅͐ͮͨ͊ͮ̅V̧̮̰͈͙̓̀ͯ̅͛ͤ́̿͘E̛̛͖̦̼͖̘̩̓̉̓̇ͨͤ͐͠.̺̪͉̦̻͍̳̟͊́͘ ̷̯̩̟̱̮͖̭̙̞ͧͤ̿D̴̢͈̳̯͇̦̈ͣ̇ͤ̓ͭ̃͟Ơ̧͇̝̭̾̍̄̄ ̐͑͛̈̒̄̆̾̕͞͏̟̱Yͪ̓̌̄̆̅ͪ͜҉̻͇̣͓̦O̬͂ͣ͂̑̏̓ͤU̵ͩͪͭ̏͛̇́͂ͭ͏͕̥̖͕ ̦̞̼͇̲̱̱͈̓̏ͤͩ̔̓̉ͣP̞͕̗͊ͮ̉́͡Iͦ̐̉̆̾̔̈́͆͏͈̖͔̟͔̦͉͝C̳͓͎̟̫̺͖̔͆͆͘͡͡ͅK̶̥͍͇͔̓̄ͩ̃͝ ̵̮̯̳̗̺̓ͩ͟U̵̠̞͓͆̓ͮ̏͛̇̉́͟Pͩ̿͋͑̈́͏͕̫̱́ ͛ͨ̉҉҉̹̞̯̮̻͢D̝̪͕͚͆̅͟Ȇ͒̊͟͏̘̺̦͖͖͎̱A̵̡̛̩͍͇̘͙̼̦͂͊ͩ̔̇̍͌͊D̸̒ͮ͋͞͏̗̭̜̬͔̙̺̰̪ ͤͫ̄͂͏̜̯̫̪̙P̿́ͤ̾ͨ͟҉̯̦̫͚̱̟E̷͖̺͕͒ͅO̶̥͉̺ͫͮ́͟P̣͖͇̻̫͎̣͈̹ͬ̾̊L̨͖͇̘̮̲̃̾ͣ͗̐̉ͨ͑̀͞Ȩ̷̰̖̀̑̅̆?̗͕̫̯̞͖̆ͤ̅ͪ̊̚」

...My goodness me. [She considers it for a moment, thinking...

...and then gives it a giant teacup. A more appropriately sized one appears in front of Kumagawa.]

Now and then! It's very rare. Are you a ghost, sir?

[It has a nightmarish amount of mouths at this point, though this is a moot observation, since the monster smashes the teacup and absorbs the remains. The shards still stick out in precarious places. Thankfully, it only seems to maul anything that comes near it, and stays content where it is otherwise.

Compare to its owner, who stares at the tea like it's out to murder him, but accepts it and sips it anyway. A tinge of the humanity is back when he speaks again.] 「MAYBE? HA HA! I ADMIT, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT THAT MUCH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO ME AFTER I DIE. IT HAPPENS SO OFTEN, I BEGAN TO THINK IT WASN'T WORTH THE DEEP, INTROSPECTIVE THOUGHTS.」

I suppose it could get dreadfully boring, but I have no frame of reference,nor do I want one, for I fear it would be horrendously permanent and I have ever so much to do.

You're very lively for a dead man.

「THE AFTERLIFE MIGHT HAVE MORE TO OFFER, BUT I PREFER MY USUAL PLACE.」

[Which is where she's dragged him in from and now his girlfriend is going to murder him for leaving. Thanks a lot, Alice. But your tea is nice!]

「NICE PLAY ON WORDS! IF OVERUSED. BUT IF WE'RE BEING HONEST, I FAKE IT. IT'S BETTER FOR EVERYONE THAT WAY. HA HA!」

It's been a while since I had a visitor here, I'm a bit out of practice. The next one will be better.

[It is pretty fantastic tea, no lie.] Fake it? Well, I suppose if it's in everyone's best interests, it's allowable, but that seems a bit convenient, don't you think?

「HA, DON'T WORRY! I'M SORRY YOUR FIRST VISITOR IS A MONSTER. MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.」

[The jovial tone doesn't match up to the facial expression. But at least something changed, even if it feels more like something warping than an expression.]

「CONVENIENT? EEH, I HAVEN'T HEARD IT CALLED THAT BEFORE... BUT I THINK EVERYONE'S BETTER OFF THAT WAY. THEM AND US AND EVERYTHING BETWEEN AND BEYOND.」

[He has spent way too long hanging out with Old Ones, or he's just goddamn nuts. He gives that attempted smile again a beat later, shrugging off his own statement.]

「YOUR TEA IS WONDERFUL, MISS.」

You're starting to sound like the Jabberwocky.

[Maybe that's her only connection; or maybe it's that Alice's worse is something much different than Them or the Angels or Sei or anything else.

Alice's worst is just the sweet poison of an insanity that consumes all other madness.]

I should hope it meets your taste though, sir, it would be terribly rude of me as a host to not be able to provide you with even that much while we're here.

「I FAILED MY WESTERN LITERATURE CLASS. SORRY!」

[That last word is the only time in that whole conversation that his smile has reached his voice. Which immediately gives the feeling that he's not sorry.

It feels great when you're not sorry.]

「AH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. KEEPING ME HERE AT ALL IS A BETTER HOST GESTURE THAN ANY TEA YOU COULD GIVE ME.」

How doth the little crocodile;

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